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[Davet]

Hi Folks

Is this article by me worthy of article submission. Please be blunt I won't mind.
I would like to know if it has a snow ball chance in hell to be picked up in
some directory. What improvements does it need ? Is it not sophisticated enough ?
Is it to boring ? People don't give a damn about the subject ?
What ever, don't hold back I'm a big boy now.
I value Blakers judgment......It's a little over 300 words....Thanks


Networking Industry Growing Pains

I'm really attracted to Networking for many reasons. 16000 people are
starting a home base business daily. I cannot confirm if this is an accurate
number but either way I'm sure its way up there.

Because of this high number this tells me the market is huge.

I would guess that a high percentage of those home business start ups are
Networking.

What market am I talking about ?

The home business market.

No matter what Networking site I visit, they all claim high numbers in profits for their
particular Company.

They all claim millions , billions even trillion dollar growth of their company
profits.

They can't all be lying. There is a boom in the industry that is not going to
stop anytime soon.

I believe that Networking is going threw some growing pains.

The cause ?  The Internet.

The Internet is still growing. All types of businesses have to adapt to the Internet or suffer
the consequences. This is old news.

But this is most evident in the Networking Industry.

Many MLM Company's are sticking to their original training and marketing methods.

But no matter how stuburn they are, the Internet will take over their core methods of marketing.

No longer will the distributor have to rely on word of mouth direct selling to grow his business.

But the new distributor will rely on more efficient, more cost effective Internet Marketing Strategies.

I'm not saying that there will come a day when people contact will no longer be necessary.

Not at all. After all, people is what makes or breaks a team. And teamwork is one of the main things that makes A Networking Home Business successful.

And I'm not saying that word of mouth direct selling will be completely eliminated.

After all, people are needed to make a sale. There will always be home meeting, conventions, trade shows
etc.

But the Internet will play a major role in the way distributors get their leads, do their advertising, communicate
with their members, do their training, recruiting and grow their home business.

Whether Network Company's like it or not, the Network, MLM Industry is changing and I think for the better.


Dave T.

[John Ritz]

Dave, I'll be honest. It needs help. PM me and we'll set up some time to talk. I may have some suggestions that can help.

Cheers,

John

[Lisa Preston]

Okay... I'm not an expert copywriter, but I DO have a formula that has worked for me on so many levels, I can't even tell you. Take from it what you find useful.

My basic formula is 5 paragraphs consisting of 5 sentences each. This can be tweaked to suit whatever it is you are writing.

Paragraph 1 - TOPIC INTRODUCTION
Sentence 1 - This sentence should clearly state the topic you intend to discuss.
Sentence 2 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit you plan to discuss more in-depth.
Sentence 3 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit you plan to discuss more in-depth.
Sentence 4 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit you plan to discuss more in-depth.
Sentence 5 - This sentence should reiterate the purpose of this article/essay.

Paragraph 2 - OBSTACLE OR BENEFIT #1
Sentence 1 - This sentence introduces the topic mentioned in Paragraph 1, Sentence 2.
Sentence 2 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 3 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 4 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 5 - This sentence should give a basic summary of what you just said in this paragraph.

Paragraph 3 - OBSTACLE OR BENEFIT #2
Sentence 1 - This sentence introduces the topic mentioned in Paragraph 1, Sentence 3.
Sentence 2 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 3 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 4 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 5 - This sentence should give a basic summary of what you just said in this paragraph.

Paragraph 4 - OBSTACLE OR BENEFIT #3
Sentence 1 - This sentence introduces the topic mentioned in Paragraph 1, Sentence 4.
Sentence 2 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 3 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 4 - This sentence should be an obstacle/benefit of this particular topic.
Sentence 5 - This sentence should give a basic summary of what you just said in this paragraph.

Paragraph 5 - SUMMARY OR CONCLUSION
Sentence 1 - This sentence should introduce the summary of the topic you have discussed.
Sentence 2 - This sentence should summarize any conclusions you reached in Paragraph 2.
Sentence 3 - This sentence should summarize any conclusions you reached in Paragraph 3.
Sentence 4 - This sentence should summarize any conclusions you reached in Paragraph 4.
Sentence 5 - This sentence should provide your conclusions on the topic in it's entirety.

Now this is a very regimented outline, but it has really been invaluable to me when I need a place to begin and have a logical flow. Once this is completed (even in point form) it allows me to write with greater ease...

Hope this was helpful!!

Cheers!
Lisa

[Chris Lockwood]

Isn't 5 sentences per paragraph rather long for the web?

A lot of people write short paragraphs online.

Sometimes even just single-sentence ones.

Like these.

[Martin Luxton]

Dave

The overall impression I get from the article is that you are not sure of yourself and lack authority.

If this was a twitter or blog post about your experiences, OK, but if you want people to click on your sig file at Ezine Articles, it doesn't pass muster.

Consider these two sentences

I cannot confirm if this is an accurate number but either way I'm sure its way up there.

They can't all be lying.

They don't really inspire confidence.


You are 124 words into the article before you even refer to your title. Why don't you start with this sentence?

I believe that Networking is going through some growing pains.

My reaction to that is "Really? Tell me about it/Prove it!"

My reaction to your present intro is "Where's the topic?"

To add to Lisa's great formula (TYAL - Thanks Yet Again Lisa  ) you could also bear in mind the classic formula for presentations

1. Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em
2. Tell 'em
3. Tell 'em what you told 'em

Martin

[Lisa Preston]

Isn't 5 sentences per paragraph rather long for the web?

A lot of people write short paragraphs online.

Sometimes even just single-sentence ones.

Like these.

Yep - that's why I said it's only a formula, to take from it what you need.
The idea is to use it for research and structure.

[Davet]

Hi Lisa

Thanks for the formula. I can see were someting like this would be very
helpfull in developing your writing skills. This is the kind of tips I
need  to learn how to write good articles. Sure it migh be regimented
for sure but after you use this formula a few times I'm sure it will get
easyer.


Martin

Thanks for input on my article. I want to start submitting articles to
article directories. So this is the kind of feed back I need to make
corrections.

The reason I wrote about not being sure about the number of new
business start ups is because I was'nt really sure so I was kinda
covering my butt in case the actual number turned out to be a lot
less. But like you said it really did not inspire confidence. And that
is the whole point of writing articles, to inspire confidence right !

Being 124 words into my article befor I refer to the title is a mistake that
I did not even realized I did.

John

What an honor for your offer to help. I'll PM you right away.

All the Best

Dave T.

[ArTsYwRiTeR]

Well. . . I am glad you are seeking help. . . for your article needed it.  I will not give you any suggestions anymore because I believe that you have been given good ones. 

Looking forward to your revised article. 

[Davet]

Hi ArtsyWriter

Nice to meet you. I knew my article needed help. Just how much help it
needed I did not know :-)

Some people would never do what I did, write an article and put it
up for public criticism.  I had to swallow some pride.  But I figure,
what good is pride for the wrong reasons.

So I said, what the hell, every one in this forum already knows how I write,
Maybe I and a few other folks can learn something about writing.

I haven't thought about a revised article. It would be educational to implement
everything that I have learned in this thread by rewriting the article.

And it would be interesting to read any comments about it.

What the hell I'll do it.

Can't do anymore damage then it already has :-)

Best Regards
Dave T.


P.S.
You won't give me anymore suggestions because I have been given
some good ones already.

So are you telling me that I am a damn good writer and these couple of
suggestions is all that I need to become a damn better writer ?

Aw com on , with a name like ArtsyWriter I'm sure you realize that
I'm not going to let you get away without at least one of your
golden nuggets.  Don't be so stingy.

D.T.

[ArTsYwRiTeR]

Will PM you in a bit.

Cheers!

[John Ritz]

Dave just replied to your PM and found your thread again. You got some good advice here so far!

Cheers,

John

[jmkane]

Sponge worthy?

Sorry...I couldn't hep ma telf, too musch 'lympics womens biotch volleyball.

[Davet]

How about Sponge Bob worthy ?  LOL

Dave T.

[ArTsYwRiTeR]

ey davet. i think you forgot to write your message. lol

shot ya a PM.